I love walking through furniture stores. There is something about envisioning entire rooms that creates a giddy feeling in me...almost as if I can picture a whole new life that could be lived in these imagined spaces. Each new room makes me wonder who I would be, and more importantly, how I would if only I was lucky enough to dwell within a house that contained that perfectly crafted design. From the rugs on the floor to the art on the walls, having the new area done 'just right' makes feel as if all would be right in the world. I realize that walking through Pottery Barn, Z Gallerie, Macy's Home Department or another lovely home store would bore the dickens out of most people. Additionally, I understand that my more creative friends and family would dismiss these 'set designs' as 'too canned' and 'not personal enough'. However, I delight in that very sense of perfection and lack of clutter.
Nothing is more true in feeding my daydreams in furniture stores than looking at bedrooms. I love to lie down on the beds in these completely devised faux rooms and wonder how much I'd sleep if this was my room, rather than my one at home. The perfectly made beds (with unstained, dog hair free, coordinating bedding), the lack of clutter and the simplicity of it all makes me wonder if I could move into one...and just not let the staff of the store know. Much like Natalie Portman's character in "Where the Heart Is", I could tip toe around during the day, and curl up in my dream room at night. Of course, my day dreams lie more in the realm of Crate & Barrel, rather than Wal-mart.
I began to look critically at what was making me so envious of these perfectly constructed rooms. I have to admit, as the Human Mom to two Enormous Dogs, my house reflects my desire to protect everything from them...and a bit of protecting them from everything, too. So....I have a lot of brown sheets covering up my sofa, my good chairs and even my bed. Brown isn't exactly meant to be chic in the 'brown and turquoise' stylish combination sense. It's meant to stave off the signs of muddy paws. I also began to realize how much 'living' we tend to do in the bedroom. No longer is our room just for sleeping. It's for bill paying, working on the computer, TV watching, reading (book, magazines and newspapers), the occasional dinner, changing clothes and again, entertaining Massive Beasts with tennis balls, often wet stuffed animals and the occasional missing sock. I have files, documents, photos, bills, invitations and commitment related paraphernalia strewn about. My room no longer (if ever) reflected a place of rest and tranquility. Rather, it took on the same vibe as the rest of the house: overworked, stressed out and multi-purpose. Hence, my bedroom is now a source of disquiet.
I can't change the layout of my house, nor can I afford to go out and buy all new furniture. Even if I could do either of these actions, I'm not sure I'd want to. After all, would the result be the same after a few weeks anyway? So, I've made it a promise to myself to try to make sure that my bedroom is less anxiety-inducing than it has been. I have a new basket on my desk in which all bills will go. I will pay them (using pay ahead option) every few days. I will change my sheets frequently, thus minimizing finding Murphy's (my half-Newfoundland, half-Golden Retriever) drool covered"Bobo" in my back in the middle of the night. Most of all, I'm going to keep my bedside table CLEAR. Unfortunately, this has been my worst trouble spot: I end up with a half dozen books, a water botttle, four kinds of hand lotion, two phones (house and cell), an array of magazines and catalogs, my son's latest hockey stats, my daughter's report card, correspondence I need to answer, my reading glasses, 2 Kleenex boxes (one with Aloe, one without), more miscellaneous junk than I can't account for, and a copy of "Goodnight Moon" that I haven't read to my kids in 14 years. No wonder I can't sleep!
My goal from now on? Keeping that bedside table clear! Emptying out the drawers in the nightstand of further unused clutter (two of them haven't been opened in 5 years) and storing things I might need there. The rest, I've determined, doesn't need a place next to me. It'll find me soon enough in other spaces. In the meantime, I hope I can finally get some sleep.
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